Through the Struggles, I Continue to Push

 A few weeks ago, in mid-March, I decided I was not getting enough miles in the running training I was doing. Why more miles? No reason other than I am constantly looking for ways to challenge and improve myself. I do have a goal of a half marathon soon, sometime before summer, just have not found the one yet. 

The only way I could get more miles in was to wake up earlier and commit to a warm-up and cool-down run, both of which I really needed to be doing anyway. So, instead of waking at 5:30am, I decided to start waking at 5:15am so I was on the treadmill by 5:30am. This gave me a minimum of 50-60 minutes of running, between 4-5 miles every morning. 

In two weeks I have increased my miles to 25 a week on average. I am very pleased with that. I am getting in longer runs overall and changing my training up to include HIIT runs, interval runs, recovery runs, etc. I am still strength training at least 5-6 days a week. I am constantly getting 13k+ steps every day. 

My nutrition is a-ok. It's basic, it's convenient for what I have going on right now, and it works for me. I am making good choices. But also, I am eating cake. Seriously. I have dessert. Sometimes I haven't often allowed myself in the past because it didn't count in my macros. With the amount of running I am doing, I know it's okay to eat cake. I am not eating cake and running more miles because I am eating cake. I simply eat cake. 

I am still weighing myself. Not because I need to lose weight, but it's really the only measurement of progress. Since I got my watch that I use to track my weight, I have lost 5lbs. I am close to my goal. 6lbs to go. But for me, my focus is about getting in the amount of exercise that makes me feel good. The running is it for me. It allows me to run out all the anger/frustration/hurt of any day before it starts. I am calm, stress-free (generally), and a happier person when I run. 

I have been running consistently since January, almost 3 months now. I am stronger, faster, and can run for longer. But in reality, I run because I cannot escape some things. Since September my little family of 3 has struggled and although we will persevere, I have not had the time to mourn the losses we have experienced. I don't know when I will. Between a toddler, a full-time job, and health concerns, I struggle not to lose it. 

So I push through. Every. Day. And I celebrate the accomplishments I can. Today I have 600 workouts since I started with the Peloton app just 18 months ago. I have over 200 strenth classes and over 100 runs. I am stronger than the things happening around me. But that doesn't mean that those things are not hard or that I do not feel sad for the losses we have had to endure. I can focus on being the best me I can be. I cannot control other things around me. And so, I push through, to strive to continue to be better. To always be the best me I can be for the little lady who turns two tomorrow!

Cheers to the next half marathon! 

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