In the Ways of Change We Find Our True Direction

Change. It's uncomfortable, it's wonderful, it unavoidable.

Some people hate change. It scares them. Not me. I am different. I like change. Too much some might say.

I grew up with an extremely consistent life. My dad always had a job. We lived in the same house (where my parents still live) for my entire life. We vacationed each summer. It was the "ideal", the American Dream so to speak. But I was bored.

When I turned 18, I picked a college far enough away that my parents couldn't randomly show up (not that they were those type of people, but just to be sure) and close enough that I could easily go home on the weekends. I lived in the dorms. After the dorms, I used to live in a new apartment every year. Sometimes by choice, some not. I moved eight times by the time I met my husband at 24. I lived in 3 different cities. I went to 2 different schools. I moved all the time. I liked moving. I saw it as starting over. And I constantly was doing just that, starting over.

I even did the same thing with jobs. Since 18, I have waitressed at six different restaurants, some at the same time, but none longer than 1-2 years. I always was looking for the next best thing. I settled in property management after college, but the changes didn't stop there.

When I married my husband we moved into our current house right before we got married, over eight years ago. It's the longest I have ever lived somewhere since I was 18. Even though we lived in the same place, I craved change still. I have not worked at a company longer than three years since I graduated college. I get increasingly anxious about my life and want something new all the time.

Recently I told my husband I wanted to quit my job, and I didn't like it anymore. He was patient with me and pointed out that I do this every few years. He went on to say he will fully support me in whatever venture I want to pursue but that I was good at what I do.

That got me thinking about my actions and my need for change. I have always been a very high strung person craving adventure, change and new things. But when does that stop? Or when is it finally time to stop. It seems that I get that itch more often now than I did years ago despite being happy with my life (finally).

So I am pursuing some new things in my "extra activities" to try to accomplish my need for the new and latest and greatest. But I am going to make a real effort to try and stick with my existing job while those "extra activities" work themselves out.

These next few months will be crucial and some things will either flourish or fade away depending on the situation. I am okay with that. Despite needing to change, being involved in something that is bigger and better than me, is important.

I cannot wait to see what the rest of the year brings and to share my experiences as I look for my one true direction.